Day 7 (6/25)—Gotcha Day

Over two years ago when we came to pick up Evan, there was another family here from the States to pick up a 4-year-old boy. Actually, just the mother came and she didn't speak any Mandarin. The boy was brought by his social worker, his foster family didn't come. He was distraught, hysterical, and inconsolable. Even the next day when we saw them at AIT, he was still really upset. His mother told us he couldn't get without throwing up. At the time, I thought "phew, thank goodness our little guy is just 2 (or almost 3)." Fast forward to now, here we are, picking up a 4-year-old… It's rough.

The day started cloudy and rainy. My frizzy hair couldn't be tamed even by a flat iron (after enjoying a second shower at the hotel… aahhh…). We went and had breakfast at the hotel restaurant. They had a really nice spread with both Chinese and Western options. After cleaning up a bit, we headed out to St. Lucy. By the time we got there, it was a major, serious downpour. Their gate was closed, so poor Hubby had to take a flimsy, dainty, light blue umbrella to brave the rain and ring the bell. He was drenched head to toe! All of us getting out of the taxi got a good soaking. At least I remembered to have Evan wear his rain jacket so he didn't get wet. After getting our temperature taken, we headed to the green couch room again. They went through all the paperwork with me. Then, there they were. Emma came with her foster mom, two social workers, two sisters, and one other young lady (not sure who she was). They played for a bit while the foster mom went over all the instructions with me again and again, all the while wiping her teary eyes. They gave us photo albums and several CDs full of more pictures. After a while, we all took some group pictures, then it was time for them to say good-bye. Lots of tears then, but not much from Emma…. yet. 

After they left, she stood quietly and sadly in the corner facing away from us. I went over to comfort her gently, and was able to get her to brighten up a little and asked me why I didn't tie up my hair (guess I probably looked kinda wild with all the fizzy hair). However, a couple of minutes later, she went to the couch and started crying and crying and crying. She kept wanting us to call her mom to come pick her up. St. Lucy's staff came to help comfort her too. They told her that with all this rain, their phones didn't work. They had to wait for it to be fixed to be able to call. Meanwhile, Emma cried and cried and wanted her foster mom to raise her, etc, etc. We tried to comfort and distract her. Evan was wondering what was wrong with her that she didn't like us. We explained to him that she's just sad and upset to be leaving her Taiwan mama. Sis kept him busy playing while I tried to comfort Emma. She didn't want to be held, so I just sat next to her, rubbing her back and wiping her tears away. We finally were able to get her and Evan to eat a few dumplings. A bit of their competitiveness came out, comparing how many and how fast (which we tried to discourage) they could eat. They ended up eating 5 dumplings each. She cried on and off (more on than off) on the taxi, the train, then another taxi, all the way back to Taipei. I feel for her, but several times I thought maybe we shouldn't take her away. She's perfectly happy, more than perfectly happy where she was. She was well loved by her foster family. Why didn't they just keep her?????!!! When we got to Ah-gong's house, she was still crying and asking if we could call her foster mom or call St. Lucy. Asking us where Ah-gong's house was exactly so she could get her mom to come get her. At times she would get angry, kicked and hit (not at any of us), especially when we mentioned that her foster mom and sisters had already said good-bye. She just wouldn't accept that. Hubby looked up the adoption grieving process, denial, isolation, bargaining, anger, depression (something like that, may not be the right order… I was busy trying to comfort her). Hopefully, there's acceptance somewhere in the end. She asked for a picture of her and her foster mom which we found. It seemed to comfort her a little. Hubby wants to add that she cried on and off for a total of about 6 hours or so. 

A bit later, we took them to McDonald's across the street from Ah-gong's house. She was doing a bit better and ate pretty well. They playing a little at the pathetic little play area for a little bit. Evan played with another little boy, asking "what your name?" The little boy happened to know a little bit of English. His name was Anderson, we found out. 

Then it was bath time. First Emma then Evan. Emma has a head of full, dark, long hair. I realized how much easier a boy was with short hair. I wonder if Emma might be open to getting her hair cut a little bit?? Her mood was better then, They played with some playdoh for a while then it was off to bed. She tossed and turned for quite a while. Asked for her foster mom's picture again. Finally, everyone slept. I found out that Emma grinds her teeth. I'll have to check what we might be able to do about that. 

Last picture of our family of three.